My predictions for the Nano January 13, 2008
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Humour, Zeitgeist.10 comments
Some may come true, some may not. I hope most may not. But remember you first read them here.
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The first prediction: Every blogger who takes him/herself a little too seriously will write about the Nano!
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90% of the first 1 million Tata Nano’s sold will be bought by those who already have 1, 2 or more cars. And this proportion shall not change for quite some, as the Tata production lines will struggle to cope with the deluge of pre-booked orders. This would obviously lead to a premium being charged, and the car will be available only in ‘black’ (No, I am not referring to the Henry Ford Model T colour!), and therefore only the ‘haves’ will become ‘have-even-mores’
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Pollution will get reduced dramatically after an initial upsurge. Obviously with traffic queues starting right at the doorstep of car showrooms only a fraction of the entire cosmos of cars on roads would actually move. The others would simply switch off. You don’t want to run out of fuel at a 5-hour stop, right? And with most cars thus switched off, pollution would obviously be past its glory days!
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This will trigger a micro-retail boom. Micro-retail is MBA jargon for the universe of vendors who shove anything from balloons, magazines, paperbacks, or smelly backs into your face on traffic signals. More people in cars for prolonged periods of time would mean the market size for micro-retail would go through the roof. Befittingly we would now rechristen it as Nano-retail. And the category of goods that would get sold would now also include clothing, toiletries, soil-bags, batteries, mobile recharges. The next phase would also include McDonalds and ICICI Bank ATMs in the Nano behind you! Sanjeev Bikchandani apparently is already preparing plans for Naukri Nanos, so that you could switch jobs even before you switch signals!
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Nano after having established a record as the cheapest car in the world, would now go on and set the world record for the largest number plates — with most number sequences getting too big for the number plates currently in use! I am also predicting this would give a fillip to national literacy!
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Apple computers will file a trademarks infringement case against the Tatas. This would happen around the same time as Google search results for “nano” returning more cars than iPods! And the NRI cousin on being told, “I just bought a Nano” would stop asking “1GB or 4 GB?” Then next ‘big’ thing would then be to make Nano (the car) so small, as to be able to send it as an email attachment!
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Tata Nano will record more sales the world over than India alone. And this will be stoutly resisted by the locals. “First you took our IT jobs, then BPO jobs and now you are taking away our cars too!” It’s a no-brainer to then predict that every time a Nano hits an Audi on a Sydney road, while the driver may or may not be hauled-up for rash driving, he will certainly have racism charges slapped on him!
- Other predictions include:
- A movie called ‘Nanoman‘
- A restaurant menu offering you plain or butter nan-o
- Sameer (the ‘dil‘ ‘jigar‘ lyricist) going into a ‘nano mein sapna‘ over-drive
- A Sunny Deol dialogue, “Na yes, Na no. Sirf Nano“
- A ZEE News programme ‘Nano ya na mano‘
The hanging of Saddam Hussain & the madness after January 6, 2007
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Media & Entertainment, Zeitgeist.2 comments
I had once mentioned what kind of video clips make it to the viral-able grade. That was in the context of sports events/incidents. I also believe the days of ‘World’s Most Amazing Videos‘ genre of programming are over on TV. YouTube and other video-sharing sites completely own this genre now.
Similarly, while ‘breaking news’ is still most dramatic on TV, the reference / search and archival possibilties ensure a much longer life for these videos on the Internet.
There is a popular post which compiled a list of the top ‘Viral video moments of 2006‘. However even as that list was doing the rounds — the biggest such event happened — the hanging of Saddam Hussain.
It was against this backdrop, and being a faithfully-in-love-with-the Internet person, that I was checking out YouTube on the morning of January 1. And that’s when I made the observation about 18 17 of the top 20 ‘most viewed’ YouTube videos on that day being of Saddam Hussain’s hanging. Somehow I wasn’t comfortable linking the actual videos here.
And then two days later when I logged in to my WordPress dashboard I did a double-take with disbelief!
My daily visit count was just going through the roof. The previous best ever was 348, the day Amit Agarwal had tipped DesiPundit about the Maxim magazine post of mine.
This was because the top result on Google for “hanging of Saddam Hussain” was my post! (That has since been moved out owing to Google’s strange batch-indexing policy. It should be back soon.)
Here are the Yahoo! screen shots (till I get the Google screen shot which Nigel took for posterity :-))
People were getting referred from search-engines I never even knew existed…
The search words that were taking people to this site went something like this…
My post stats looked like this:
And then based on this traffic, WordPress started featuring me in their ‘Blog of The Day’ lists… The highest I reached was No.2 (click to see full image)
I wanted to write this post two days back, but was waiting for the deluge to ebb a little. Sadly, I still don’t have a point of view on this issue yet.
Incidentally there was no visible increase in the list of spam messages, thus proving that the sheer magnitude of organic activities far out-strips the dogged efforts by spammers!
The hanging of Saddam Hussain January 1, 2007
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Politics, Zeitgeist.31 comments
Today morning on YouTube — 18 of the 20 most viewed videos were about of the hanging of Saddam Hussain.
My stance on this is still a work-in-progress.
However I do have a couple of thoughts.
It is a poor-poor defence when Americans say, “It was their (incumbent Iraqis’) decision to hang him. We had nothing to do with it.” Yeah sure buddy, we believe you as much now as when you told the world that Iraq was sitting on a tranche-load of Weapons of Mass Destructions! And if going against the grain of incredulity, I were to believe you on WMDs — idiots you killed the only man who could have told you where they were hidden!!
This is the third such political execution I have seen.
The first was that of former Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu, who was executed by a shooting squad after a hasty trial in 1989. That was the Christmas on 1989. BBC says:
Two days after the death of Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, video pictures of their summary trial and execution were shown on television in Romania and around the world.
The images of their dead bodies, riddled with bullets, were broadcast and much of the unrest which continued after their deaths subsided.
The second was that of former Afghanistan President Dr. Najibullah who was publicly hanged by the Taliban in 1996 and whose body was left hanging in the open for a few days. The newspaper pictures of those hanging bodies are graphically imprinted on my mind. Especially since in India we were used to seeing him as guest of the State. In fact the rest of his family had taken shelter in India after the Taliban captured power in Afghanistan in 1996.
Somehow this time around I feel a sense of apathy seeing the visuals. Perhaps the earlier pictures where a fugitive Saddam was shown being pulled out of his hideout, had somehow prepared me for the things to come.
This gruesome link on BBC throws some light on this issue:
Releasing the normally gruesome pictures of dead leaders is a powerful gesture. It has often been used in the past to mark the end of an era.
Hmm…
Insurance Term Policy, Endowment Policy, Whole Life Policy December 22, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Zeitgeist.4 comments
Ok, don’t get it wrong, I have no expertise on or avid interest in the subject of insurance policies! This post has been deliberately titled thus — to explore the myth about what words work for search-engines. (The Paris Hilton vs. Lindsay Lohan and Teach an old CAT new tricks: CAT 2006 posts earlier on this blog were also an attempt towards that.)
Immediate fall outs?
I did have a few days of spike in traffic owing to the contextuality of those posts, but I am also left to contend with a legacy of hundreds of spam comments! Mercifully, WordPress has provided Akismet spam filter on all its blogs, and I am highly indebted to them for that. Akismet works like a dream, totally weeding out all the spam comments. The ones it is unable to mark as outright spam it sends for moderation.
Also, lest I disappoint you beyond redemption here is the information on insurance. I really like the betting analogy.
…Term insurance works like a betting game.
You are willing to bet that you would die this year and cough up, say, Rs 2,000.
The insurance company bets that you will not die and is willing to pay your family, say, Rs 1 million if you do.
If you survive, you lose the bet. And the insurance company takes away the Rs 2,000.
If you win the bet, you know what happens!
The bet goes on over a period of 5, 10, 15, 20… whatever number of years that both you and insurance company have agreed to.
Don’t give up so quickly!
If this does not tickle your fancy, there are other options to consider…
All this is from an old article on Rediff.com by N Sriram ‘How much is your life worth?‘
Paris Hilton vs. Lindsay Lohan: The ultimate superfluous study November 22, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Humour, Media & Entertainment, Zeitgeist.20 comments
It had been on my mind for quite some time. And now when I decided to write about it, I heard another part of my mind tell me, “This would be your most earth-shattering post till now.” Knowing my own mind I was skeptical yet flattered. And then I realized this was the profound part of my mind collaborating with the pun part — ‘Arth-shattering‘ post is what was implied. (Arth in Hindi/Sanskrit = ‘meaning’)
Read on at your own peril :)
Every major newspaper has city supplements — Delhi Times, HT City et al. It is in these supplements that one can see the much reviled yet keenly followed ‘page 3′ people. Two such people who you would have regularly seen are Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Paris Hilton, one may have read about on various occasions — famous and infamous; but Lindsay Lohan? I’d never known who she was, or what she’d done in life. Yet day upon day, week upon week, month upon month — one sees some article/picture or the other on Ms. Lohan! In my media management workshops I would cite this as an example of a hyper-active PR company at work.
While sociologists would have their theories worked out on this phenomenon, with a little disposable time at hand, I decided to do my own study — which befitting its subjects, is hopelessly superfluous!
First test — assuming that there would be .com websites dedicated to both these femmes; I did a simple Alexaholic.com comparison.
Clearly lindsaylohan.com started a few years earlier — but parishilton.com, its late start notwithstanding, has surged ahead in terms of traffic!
Next test — Google Trends. Where in terms of pure ’search volume’ Paris Hilton is much ahead of Lindsay Lohan. However, as far as news reference volume goes, Lindsay Lohan puts up a good fight. This again reiterates the point I was making earlier — her PR agency is hyper-active, and therefore the higher news references!
Next test — why not do a simple comparison of these two women across some of the most popular sites currently — Google, Technorati, Yahoo, MSN Live, YouTube, Flickr, 43things, Amazon, and eBay!
Clearly, Paris Hilton emerges a winner in references in all of these except Amazon – DVD search — where Lindsay Lohan beats her! But the whopper is 43things.com, a zeitgeist site where people list 43 things they want to do in their lifetimes. Clearly Paris Hilton figures a far greater number of times in what people want to do in their lives. But what exactly do they want to do? Below are the top 75 mentions:
meet paris hilton
beat up paris hilton
be Paris Hilton’s friend
be Paris Hilton
paris hilton
sleep with paris hilton
stop hearing about paris hilton
be 10x richer than paris hilton
Be like paris hilton!
to be Paris Hilton
Party with Paris Hilton
punish paris hilton
Date Paris Hilton
paris hilton kiss
FEEL PARIS HILTON
be as thin as paris hilton
knob paris hilton
Marry Paris Hilton
slap paris hilton
Fight Paris Hilton
see paris hilton
on in paris hilton
free paris hilton’s dog
smack Paris Hilton
hit paris hilton
look like Paris Hilton
meet paris hilton and say “thats hot”
seriously physically impair Paris Hilton
steal paris hilton’s money
french kiss paris hilton
watch paris hilton tape
party like paris hilton
Be paris hiltons worst enemie
get paris hiltons number
get rid of paris hilton
throw up on paris hilton
meet paris hilton (chad)
have BJ done by Paris Hilton
bethin like paris hilton
I want to DISS PARIS HILTON
become friends with paris hilton
make out with paris hilton
Throw paris hilton screaming from a helicopter
Get high with Paris Hilton
Meet Paris hilton or Britney Spears
become more like paris hilton
be best friends with Paris Hilton
i wanna see paris hilton!!!!
have relations with paris hilton
see Paris Hilton go away
hit Paris Hilton in the face with a cream pie
never read another article about Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan
spend a day with Paris Hilton and go shopping
live long enough to watch paris hilton grow old and ugly
french kiss paris hilton & bite her tongue
Tell paris hilton she is ugly
Tell Paris Hilton what a loser she is
Meet Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton
show Paris Hilton how to actually dance
meet Paris Hilton and smack her. lol
treat myself with paris hilton
chop paris hilton head and spit in hole
meet and chat with Paris Hilton in a restaurant
ask paris hilton if she wants my autograph
push paris hilton down a flight of stairs
party in the hamptons with Paris Hilton
follow paris hiltons advice -_-and b ”hot”
become famous by the time i am 18 and be as beautiful as Paris Hilton
buy perfume: be delicious,hypnose,fresh linen,paris hilton
start The Global War on Paris Hilton
shave paris hilton and proove to u that she’s an ex-surfing dude
meet Paris Hilton so I can slap her for being a dumbass
really listen to paris hilton’s cd
make paris hilton(and people like her) be aware of the real world
have a reality show with Paris Hilton where I help her develop intellectually
Interesting huh?
Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you this was ‘arth-shattering’!
Famous Lost Words November 12, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Humour, Language, Zeitgeist.7 comments
As a kid I swear I was really happy and gay! Now I have to say I am only happy :-( And why is that? Because through my growing up years the Americans systematically stole words from my lexicon and gave them meanings which ensured I can’t really pass them forward to the generations ahead.
Once upon a time you could tell a kid when the neighbourhood cat would come avisiting, “Look, the pussy cat is here.” Now I almost squirm uncomfortably when my 3-year old nephew points out a pussy cat to me! Or when going through his pictorial book, I can feel my tone change, as I have to point out the fowl called cock that I immediately try and deflect as Mr.Hen! And of course none of the stories I tell him can have a member of the feline species eat a rooster!
Similarly, I am afraid, in the coming years avid sportsmen would not be able to say ‘I like playing with balls’ — even if they were stating the obvious.
A lot of us had practically stopped using the idiom ‘A bird in hand is worth two in the bush’ for obvious reasons. Interestingly, this is one rare example where Americans brought back a word into ‘permissible conversation’ thanks to their political supremo — George W.Bush. Further President Bush brings the added advantage of rescuing another one of the ‘lost words’ — the ass! As far as contextual usage is concerned, mercifully this is one word that retains its in-sentence context — though its intended meaning has been corrupted too. I am sure some of you have read that ‘priest peddles his ass‘ joke.
The American influence of course permeates their entire continent. I don’t know if you have heard the Canadian slogan — if you’re a Canadian, show me your beaver!
Then there are other things in our lives where conventional words have been given new meanings making their usage even in the original context risqué.
For example, a screw helps you bond… a wooden plank with another. However, I remember a real-life incident during our architecture carpentry workshops, where this girl shouted across the room — “I want a screw.” I am sure you can guess the reaction from everyone around!
A long time ago, I also recall having seen an embroidery designer say that customers pay more for a hand job than a machine-job! Talking of designers and clothes, Tantra (the t-shirt makers) banked on another such lost word and sold quite a few t-shirts that said — ‘Rajasthan, the best place in India to look for a hump.’
However, when people profess “We can make out”, they may merely be referring to their superior ability to tell one shade of green from another! Similarly, a rueful “My husband always comes before me” could simply be a reference to the husband’s punctuality on their way back from their respective jobs!
Closer home, coming from a Kashmiri Pandit family, it was common for us to cook at home what we in Hindi call ‘keema’ (minced meat), bought from the local butcher. And towards creating the finest quality keema it was common for us at home to further beat our meat! Thank God for two things: One, in those days we never had to converse at home in English. Two, today when we do converse a lot more in English — we are vegetarians!
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Reference reading for those with an academic interest in this:
Homographs
Double entendre
Pun
Google buys YouTube October 11, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Media & Entertainment, Zeitgeist.3 comments
Wow! That was quick.
Hear it from the horses’ mouths.
And I am so glad.
It reminds me of the time Andre Agassi married Steffi Graf :-)
p.s. And where did I hear about it (the Google-YouTube story) first? From my wife!
How to make money through blogging – two cases September 18, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in BlogCamp, Media & Entertainment, Zeitgeist.7 comments
In an effort to understand how make money through blogging let us look at two blogs which have in their own way been doing so:
Labnol.blogspot.com – run by Amit Agarwal
Xiaxue.blogspot.com - run by Wendy Cheng
(Pronounced as ’sha shuay’ – as was told to me by Preetam Rai at the BlogCamp)
I saw Amit Agarwal for the first time at the Chennai Blogcamp last week. He spoke during the ‘professional blogging’ segment. His was perhaps one of the more eagerly awaited presentations – as there was enough buzz about ‘the guy who earned enough money through Google Ad Sense to quit his job and take up blogging fulltime’. Modest, down-to-earth and unassuming were the first impressions formed about a person whose blog visits are in millions (contrast this with guys who start seeing themselves as celebrities when their blog visits touch 100!) Amit went about inviting questions from the audience rather than make a formal monologue presentation. And questions there were aplenty — starting from the million dollar question (literally) – How much money does he actually make through blogging? While he parried that one citing the Google Ad Sense terms of service which forbid him from disclosing his earnings, people were heard discussing that it was to the tune of a few lakh of rupees per month.
What Amit did disclose was that apart from Google Ad Sense he also earned through sponsorships on his blog and consulting.
Some of the been-there-done-that insights were very interesting. Like how he now has a robust relationship with Google because of which Google responds with promptness every time he reports misuse/abuse of his name/blog.
Or how the choice of topics one decides to write on is as important as the quality of the content published.
And none of this is easy (he spends 10-14 hours everyday researching and creating content) or without risks (if the Google services he relies on – Blogger and Ad Sense – were to go down for technical or other reasons).
His blog also highlights the need for intelligent mapping between content and advertising, so that users don’t develop blind-spots towards predictable formats of advertising (e.g. the formerly ubiquitous 468 x 60 pixel banner ads).
However much before I had heard of or seen Amit Agarwal or Labnol, I had very avidly followed Wendy Cheng’s blog xiaxue.blogspot.com since 2004. With oodles of attitude and in-your-face irreverence, she is arguably Singapore’s most popular blogger. If Labnol is a one-man publishing company, Xiaxue is a one-woman entertainment company!
Based of the popularity of her blog a local apparel store signed her up as their brand ambassador – a first of sorts! But which if you think about it, makes eminent sense. For thousands of people who follow her blog – Xiaxue endorsing a brand has a much stronger appeal than any such exhortation by conventional celebrities in TV commercials. The same holds true for the places she visits, clicks pictures of, and writes about – restaurants, clubs, amusement parks etc. I discussed this with some people at Blogcamp and we all joked that the next time we go to a restaurant and say we are bloggers, the restaurant manager could very well ask, “What’s your Technorati ranking?” before deciding what to offer on-the-house!
Apart from Google Ad Sense, currently Xiaxue is running an ad-innovation – pixel marketing on her blog, and that again makes a lot of sense. Apart from that she does a lot of ‘in-post brand/product placements’ too.
The challenge that both face is that the growth of their business (sounds interesting, right?) can be either through (a) multifold increase of visitations (demand) on the existing content being generated (supply) or (b) increase of content – depth or breadth to increase the catchment group to include newer audience segments.
While (a) is the easier option for both, it is a variable both of them do not have much influence over (beyond their current efforts) – (b) can be much easier for Labnol as some of the content could be out-sourced to meet the demand pattern. For Xiaxue it will be tough to generate content other than what she herself experiences.
Overall, I would like to underline the fact that there is no easy resting-on-your-bums way to make money from your blog. Both these cases highlight that either you possess the natural flair of a Xiaxue, or be willing to put in the hard-work that goes into Labnol. This is not to suggest that hard work doesn’t go into Xiaxue!
The best case scenario could perhaps be the final remark that Amit made in jest towards the end of his session — that if he had been a pretty girl his earnings might have been even more!
BlogCamp Chennai 2006: Update September 16, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in BlogCamp, Media & Entertainment, Zeitgeist.2 comments
The sole reason it has taken this long for me to post this update is that the BlogCamp in Chennai ate my weekend, and it took me the whole of the following week to recoup.
A lot has been said and written about people’s expectations and the varying levels to which they were met or not met.
Since I did not go to the BlogCamp with any expectations most of what I encountered or experienced had a certain impact on me. And I would want to remember only the positives. (There are enough negatives in rest of the world to satiate the part of me that feeds on them!)
The first and foremost was the free WiFi broadband connectivity courtesy Sify. A second for me in life — the first being Chennai airport, which had free WiFi by BSNL under a promotional scheme last year. [This was commented upon by Shailaja Neelkantan and this seems to have rubbed GreatBong the wrong way!]
Then was Amit Agarwal’s eagerly awaited talk where India’s most celebrated professional blogger offered some insights into what everyone in the audience wished should be theirs, but somehow isn’t — a serious enough earning from their blogs!
I had a long and interesting chat with Nikhil Kuilkarni who is one bright 21 year-old. Reminded me of my teaching days. Talking of my teaching days — it was a pleasant surprise when Nidhi came up and told me she had attended some of my media management workshops in IP College (Delhi)!
A well-deserved word of appreciation for Kiruba and the team of volunteers from Chennai.
The hype-spike was chief sponsor Yahoo bringing Sunil Gavaskar to the event, and that’s where I found a lot of the unconference attitude coming unstuck. I was bemused by some of the questions put to Sunil Gavaskar:
- What do you think is the future of podcasting?
- What do you think is the future of blogging as a medium?
- Would you like to do cricket coaching through blogging?
- Would you like to do live ball-by-ball text commentary a la Prem Panicker?
- Why are you only doing audio podcasts and not video-casts?
- Which other sportsmen do you think are doing podcasts like you?
All of this to a person who said the following quite clearly…
- Frankly, I don’t belong here
- I belong to the transistor generation
- I am a two-finger typist
- I once went on typing for quite some time without looking up into the screen only to discover that nothing had actually been typed
- I began looking at blogs only in the last some days
Perhaps the only sensible questions asked were:
- Is there a possibility of another autobiographical book coming from you after Sunny Days?
- While in a 2-commentator setup, you feed off the other guy (which Gavaskar himself had enlightened the audience about), would you like to try commenting while feeding off an audience?
There was also an interesting presentation by photographer Sharad Haksar who shared some of his work and how the blogging community mobilized support and helped him out when Coca Cola had filed a case against him.
And not to forget the company and hospitality of my friend and ex-colleague Jamshed Rajan who was quite popular with the Chennai community and seems to have worked well on his positioning as a humour writer through his blog — ouchmytoe.
And my take from the BlogCamp?
That’s in the next post. Please be back.
The Miracles of India August 20, 2006
Posted by Rahul Razdan in Media & Entertainment, Politics, Zeitgeist.7 comments
Yessir! It’s happening once again!
If Ganesh idols were drinking milk then, it is sea water turning sweet in Mumbai now! (In between we had the ‘monkey man’ in India’s capital city!)
The ‘milk drinking’ is due to the phenomenon of ’surface tension’ where the milk sticks in a very thin layer — practically invisible to the naked eye — to the edge of the spoon and travels from there to the lips of the idols, to the chin and all the way to the floor. If need be, please pick up a high-school physics book, and you would understand it very easily!
The sweetness of the sea water is being explained as post-monsoon dilution of salinity.
Even though I believe the scientific explanations completely, for me that is just one aspect of this issue.
The other aspect is — WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
So what if the idols were drinking milk, huh?
So what if the sea water is less salty than usual, huh?
What does this do for you? Makes your life less miserable, huh?
Yet we have people (urban, educated and economically better-off) in this day and age falling for, and willing to swallow this crap (literally too**), in double-quick haste and not waiting/wanting to seek a logical/rational explanation for that.
And that’s the miracle for me, sadly!
Even as I close this post, I see news on India TV that the idols drinking milk scam is back, and I can very clearly see this time around it’s not about injecting the opium into the masses in an innovative way, but in a competitive way.
** Mahim creek, the site for this sweet water ‘miracle’, is otherwise better known as the point where passengers on Mumbai’s western train line generally get up from their sleep due to an overpowering foul sewage smell, while passing by!
